News:

Mike and I will be collaborating on songs via the internets. He will send me a song w/ rhythm guitar and vocals and I will add lead and percussion and FX or vice versa. It will be like we're a band that exists and collaborates though we are on opposite sides of the country. I have not discussed this with Mike yet, but we will release an EP of our collaboration for free when we are done.

Other news: I am creating an "affiliate program*." You can sign up to be my affiliate.





*Note: this does not actually have anything to do with traditional affiliate programs, nor will you be compensated in any way. You will just be an affiliate. Do not let this deter you from asking how to become an affiliate.

Tom Waits Interviews Himself

"We are buried beneath the weight of information, which is being confused with knowledge; quantity is being confused with abundance and wealth with happiness. Leona Helmsley's dog made 12 million last year... and Dean McLaine, a farmer in Ohio made $30,000. It's just a gigantic version of the madness that grows in every one of our brains. We are monkeys with money and guns."

Peepeesaurus

DISCUSS:

BELIEF & TECHNIQUE FOR MODERN PROSE
Jack Kerouac

1. Scribbled secret notebooks, and wild typewritten pages, for yr own joy
2. Submissive to everything, open, listening
3. Try never get drunk outside yr own house
4. Be in love with yr life
5. Something that you feel will find its own form
6. Be crazy dumbsaint of the mind
7. Blow as deep as you want to blow
8. Write what you want bottomless from bottom of the mind
9. The unspeakable visions of the individual
10. No time for poetry but exactly what is
11. Visionary tics shivering in the chest
12. In tranced fixation dreaming upon object before you
13. Remove literary, grammatical and syntactical inhibition
14. Like Proust be an old teahead of time


15. Telling the true story of the world in interior monolog
16. The jewel center of interest is the eye within the eye
17. Write in recollection and amazement for yourself
18. Work from pithy middle eye out, swimming in language sea
19. Accept loss forever
20. Believe in the holy contour of life
21. Struggle to sketch the flow that already exists intact in mind
22. Dont think of words when you stop but to see picture better
23. Keep track of every day the date emblazoned in yr morning
24. No fear or shame in the dignity of yr experience, language & knowledge
25. Write for the world to read and see yr exact pictures of it
26. Bookmovie is the movie in words, the visual American form
27. In praise of Character in the Bleak inhuman Loneliness
28. Composing wild, undisciplined, pure, coming in from under, crazier the better
29. You're a Genius all the time
30. Writer-Director of Earthly movies Sponsored & Angeled in Heaven

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this is an ironic post. i don't actually like 30 seconds to mars.

but mike posted a video w/ japanese people. so i am posting white people dressed up as samurais.

is it too obvious

to state that i would've enjoyed the killers when i was 13 and they were the only thing galloping through my television?

it's sort of endearing that brandon flowers can't sing for shit.

dig that raccous falsetto.

the meme is here and we want you to know these things about us that you don't know about us.

1.) we once saved a boy from an ocean of drano.

2.) we were involved in the brazilian version of watergate

3.) when one of us chews gum the other one hears that the other one is chewing gum (from miles away, but not light years)

4.) our sweat is organic

5.) after much debate, they named the harmonica after us

mike and i have written a screenplay for a movie

here's who will star in the movie:

tom waits (as land use larry)
harmony korine (as general of butt plug army)
a lot of midgets (as butt plug army)
bats (as bats)
daniel johnston (as daniel johnston)
the u.s. postal service (as the ho's)

with cameos from:

jeff mangum
the black guy w/ no legs from kids
anna nicole smith
bjork

new poetry movement!

we need a new poetry movement this week.

come up with one and, um, we'll clap for you in front of our computers.

This blog is getting dusty.

School is began again.

So no more dust.

Anyway: Someone (Jess or Mike) should post a blog with names/blogs of people interested in that DIY group so we can get this thing rolling. I need a jumpstart or injection of something so I can get writing. I have been stagnant in the past few weeks.

Two links concerning "art games": read this and play the games of Ferry Halim.

Jess Rowan and I are trying to hijack our own open-mic (the West Wind doodad) and turn it into a get together of local poets, wherein we read our own work and the work of others, hold bookmaking seminars, exchange tips and tricks, build kites inside our bellies, and do all sorts of zany pitter-patter.

If you live in Ashland, I know what you're thinking! "What local poets?!" Ease up, compatriot: there are indeed good poets floating around who aren't gag-ass hippies. I met a few the other week at my friend Ocho's apartment. I shall invite them to our new endeavor. Every Ashlander who reads this is also invited, so don't worry about leaving me yr email addy or anything. Just watch this space for news. We may hold these get-togethers in locales and hours divorced from the ordinary open-mic, so stay vigilant. This blog will comfort you, rock you on the water, row your boat ashore, etc.

In other news, I lost my orange polo at the beginning of summer, and now I lost my sweet-ass "NATIVE SPIRIT" shirt. Get yee back to England, bastard lil' Borrowers.

new pynchon book

today i found out that the new thomas pynchon book called 'against the day' will be released early december.

read these things.

i suggested to mike that

and i quote from our msn convo:

bryan says:
we should all read it and form a READING GROUP OF IT
bryan says:
and we can be like, THAT PART WAS CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZY
bryan says:
over vodka crans


his reply?


Mike says:
Hahahahaha.
Mike says:
Totally.

How to Read a Bryan Coffelt Poem

Make an Italian mob "meh."
Shrug. Cuss into your fists.
Giggle and fuck and call yourself
"Mr. Giggle-Fuck the Giggle-Fucker."

Be totally the tin man with the red thing.
Make sure no one is around, then
French kiss the lakes that won't drain.

how to read a mike young poem

get indignant at a comet
flaunt your pointy side
the rain will try to douse you

it's like cinnamon
not a candy cane
and then
redo your mirror's seams.

Brought to you by a total esprit de corps wig out.

beauty in a time of bombs: some thoughts

why do i write things to make them beautiful? things are not beautiful, things are clunky and lukewarm.

is beautiful language dishonest? why do i glaze the truth to make it more appetizing in my writing? truth is a rare commodity. everything seems to be keeping something hidden from everything else.

i know these things, but i still feel like i have to dress up my writing [insert simile here]. is it because human brains use metaphors to function?

everyone should discuss this here.

Thank you to everyone who commented on the last post. I have made French apple sausage with lemon pepper and maple syrup, and I have also sprinkled gingersnaps over canned Boston baked beans. 'Twas a swell idea.

I am not a foodie or an asshole or gay. When I make cool food, it's for the same reason I make cool phrases: I just like how it all sounds.

And some of it even tastes good, so that's nice.

Here are books I have recently finished and giggled or cried at:

Nice People Dancing to Country Music - Lee Blessing (play)
Carol Bly - Backbone (stories)
Emile Zola - The Attack on the Mill (stories)
Bill Berkson - Lush Life (poetry)
And They Put Handcuffs on the Flowers - Fernando Arrabal (play)
Visigoth - Gary Amdahl (stories)

You really should read those, at least the Bly, Zola and Arrabal.

At least the Zola.

For class, I reread Carl Sandburg's Chicago poems and found them swelled with grit and still reminiscent of Bruce Springsteen. Kasey Mohammad made me say why they reminded me of Springsteen, which I'm sure he regretted upon seeing the size of my reply.

Okay, uncle. There is not much I don't enjoy. I'm not really enjoying The Cantos. But I'm not supposed to, so okay.

Fuck you too, Ezra. Fuck you too.

In the comment section, please put something you've read and enjoyed, and please fill in the blank: "Fuck you too, _____. Fuck you too."

Thank you.

I love you.

P.S. Also: listen first to Barbara Jane Reyes's "Lullaby in SoMa for Paloma" and "Going Outside to Find the Sky." Then listen to Tyehimba Jess's 1912: blind lemon jefferson explaining to ledbelly.

P.P.S. Fizzpo is dead. The following people wrote Fizzpo: Alex, Jessica, Bryan, Angela and Randy. Angela actually cracked the rules and wrote rule-oriented fizzpo with insane precision. Then everyone stopped, which led to Fizzpo's death. If anyone else wants to say they wrote Fizzpo, they're probably lame and in need of a bath. But everyone is now welcome to write Post-fizzpo. We are currently talking to Norton about releasing a Fizzpo anthology. It will arrive in Smuukentember of 214523523.

P.P.P.S Fizzpo is not dead. I just got word. Everyone now who writes fizzpo is actually writing Second Generation fizzpo, which is no way a disgrace. If you now wish to write Fizzpo, please indiciate whether you are writing Post-fizzpo or Second Generation Fizzpo. If you don't, God will secretly eat you. It will be a secret because God will be in his Costume of Secrets, which somewhat resembles a crescent wrench.

This post contains things to do!

Doldrums and dustmites, Batman! This place smells like a rotten sandal.

Has anyone written fizzpo lately? Have we successfully conquered that urge? Does anyone want to nominate a new poetic movement? If you will name it, I come up with a very convincing theory.

Some people know that thought precedes and overrides language, which is true, but hardly what I would call fun. But it's still fun. It's sort of complicated. Since cognitive science and modern philosophy have sanded things down to gears and explained things away to sea, language is all super fucked.

It has been so cocksocked and shivved of significance and meaning that it can be nothing now but jester-riffic.

I know it's useless to distinguish between "whom" and "who." This is fine.

It means I can say whom for the real reason I want to say it: because it sounds funny, because it has a beautiful history of formality, an elegant "feeling" that precedes and overrides language, but that only language can gesture toward.

Language: stick around. We will bring you out after dinner with your lutes and funny shoes.


Leave two things in the comment box: 1) your favorite language cuddle-stories (or, um, bitch-ass language shit, Bryan, if you don't like the whole "cuddle" angle) and 2) easy things Mike can make to cook and then eat without puking or exploding.

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an interesting conversation mike and i had regarding the previous post:


[15:45] mrgoldsoft: A lot is two words.
[15:46] mrmopwater: i know
[15:46] mrmopwater: i like it better as one though.
[15:46] mrgoldsoft: What is alot then?
[15:46] mrmopwater: alot is a visual representation of the concept it represents
[15:46] mrgoldsoft: Is it a Japanese potato?
[15:46] mrgoldsoft: Japanese potato, in other words.
[15:46] mrmopwater: no.
[15:47] mrmopwater: a lot does less to signify its concept than alot
[15:47] mrgoldsoft: I disagree.
[15:47] mrmopwater: the space between "a" and "lot" implies a lack.
[15:47] mrgoldsoft: The lack of a space implies a lack.
[15:47] mrgoldsoft: A lot implies so much that you need a space.
[15:47] mrmopwater: no.
[15:48] mrgoldsoft: Alot implies smallness, scrunching.
[15:48] mrmopwater: the reverse
[15:48] mrgoldsoft: Alot is smaller than a lot.
[15:48] mrgoldsoft: How can it be more if it's smaller?
[15:48] mrmopwater: no
[15:48] mrmopwater: it is bigger
[15:48] mrmopwater: a lot
[15:48] mrgoldsoft: That isn't actually.
[15:48] mrgoldsoft: True.
[15:48] mrmopwater: is two words
[15:48] mrgoldsoft: Right.
[15:48] mrmopwater: and alot
[15:48] mrmopwater: is bigger
[15:48] mrgoldsoft: Which is one more word than alot.
[15:48] mrgoldsoft: No.
[15:48] mrgoldsoft: It's smaller.
[15:48] mrgoldsoft: It's only one word.
[15:48] mrmopwater: yes
[15:49] mrmopwater: but it derives its power from the combination of two words
[15:49] mrmopwater: implying its concept.
[15:49] mrgoldsoft: It sucks two words together, implying that it's a party with no standing room.
[15:49] mrgoldsoft: Which is not the concept of a lot.
[15:49] mrgoldsoft: Nothing is different than a lot.
[15:49] mrgoldsoft: Nothing is less than a lot.
[15:50] mrmopwater: a lot is more ambiguous than alot
[15:50] mrgoldsoft: Not in context.
[15:50] mrmopwater: a lot could refer to a lot
[15:50] mrmopwater: oh context!
[15:50] mrmopwater: now we're going to bring context into the discussion?
[15:50] mrmopwater: well!
[15:50] mrgoldsoft: WELL!
[15:51] mrgoldsoft: I don't know where my watch is.
[15:51] mrmopwater: if we're going to discuss signifiers as signifiers you are not allowed to bring context into the equation.
[15:52] mrgoldsoft: Alot is more ambigious than "a lot" because it has a history of error; it introduces thoughts and criticisms about grammar rather than the concept, which is lotfullness.
[15:52] mrgoldsoft: And that is regardless of context.